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Veterans Day

One of my biggest pet-peeves is having an album/song with no album art on my itunes. Absolutely drives me crazy. And recently, since school has hindered my own purchasing of music, I’ve been downloading a lot of really good mixes from the interwebs, but these mixes lack artwork which makes pejman an unhappy man.

Wednesday, on Veterans day, since I have a day off school, I shall spend all of it updating my itunes artwork. You know, to honor the veterans and all.

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(via prettyproblematic)
les baobabs

(via prettyproblematic)

les baobabs

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I Bloom Blaum

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Life has a funny way of giving you happiness and taking it away from you.

But right now, I’m sitting high on the crest again.

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Things that I hate

Havent done one of these in a while so it should be good.

It’s a bit long so prepare yourselves.

A)My Islam Professor

I hate this class and my professor with the passion of a thousand suns. He is a dumb-fuck. An absolute idiot who not only NOT TEACHES but stands there with his horrendous thick indonesian accent talking about his friends and himself. I don’t mind accents. I LOVE THEM. I do. I just hate his. Why? BECAUSE I HATE HIM.  I DONT CARE YOU ASSHOLE. I DONT CARE ABOUT YOU OR YOUR LIFE OR YOUR IDIOT FRIENDS WHO SEE GHOSTS. Jesus christ. I didnt want to be in your class. You were my third choice and BECUASE THE WORLD LOVES ME, I got your class. WOOOOOOOooOooOo. I can’t wait for this quarter to be over so I could get out of your shit class and into the next Islam sequence WHICH WILL ACTUALLY BE GOOD.

Today in class I took notes on all the incorrect grammar that my professor used. This isn’t all, just some. Please enjoy.

-“I DONT KNOW NOTHING”- are you fucking kidding me? You’re a professor teaching at a University and you’re using double negatives? Mind you this isnt the first time either. WTF? How did you get this job. You should be fired on the spot because you use double negatives. NO ONE EVER SHOULD USE DOUBLE NEGATIVES.

-“Why don’t, for example, it says?”- What? How does that even make sense?

-“This ones…”- ITS THESE ONES, YOU DUMB FUCK.

B) My math professor

Hey asshole, how bout you dont talk to us like we’re all dumb asses who don’t understand a word you say? Is that a good idea? YEA?! YEA!

Stop talking down to us like we’re so much lower than you. Stop talking about how your highschool class that you teach is better than us. DONT INCLUDE ME IN THAT GROUP. I got a fucking 100% on my math midterm you dumbshit, dont group me with those retards.

C) Slow walkers

Whats the point of your existantce? To make my life an even more difficult place? Yes? Because I hate you. I’m not saying I want everyone to be a speedy gonzales but I dont want you to take your sweet ass time to enjoy the scenery as you walk. ITS RIVERSIDE, THERE IS NO NICE SCENERY.

This takes me to my next point.

D) People who drag their feet

Why? Did your parents teach you no manners? YOU DONT DRAG YOUR FEET. It’s always a no-no. ALWAYS. Pick up your feet an extra inch so people wouldnt think that youre an even bigger dick than you already are.

E) People who chew with their mouths open

Again, did your parents teach you no manners? If there’s food in your mouth KEEP IT SHUT. Don’t talk. Don’t do anything. Just chew, and if you need to say something wait till you swallow.

Also I almost got ran over by a bike as I was textng and walking back to my dorm. Twice. Go me.

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“When we see a winter landscape we see everything as it will eventually be. Trees dead, water locked in a solid form, and all living creatures buried in the ground; and yet there is an absolute serenity about it. Is this the nature of death? Are we really afraid of something that nature shows us as absolutely calm and beautiful? Maybe winter is showing us that we have nothing to be afraid of, that to be absolutely still has as much beauty as life.”

Becoming Winter

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“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.”

Albert Camus

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If you're depressed, or just plain stressed,

prettyproblematic:

exercise until your body fails you.

Your body will release endorphins, cheering you up.

You’ll loose weight, increasing your self esteem.

my life right now.

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Waiting

you know when you get in one of those moods where you have no idea what to do?

Where everything just hits you all at the same time. Everything from the last month: the good, the bad, the happy, the sad, it all just hits you so hard and fast that you don’t have the time to try to make sense of what’s happening.

So you sit there, alone, and you think. But the thinking is kind of like torture because you wander off in your own head and you think too much. You try to solve every little problem and by doing that you’re making a bigger deal out of everything. Maybe so, maybe not. Maybe the worrying is justified but because of your own mood you doubt it.

But you’re alone nonetheless. You choose to be isolated from the world. And when someone asks you if you’re ok, you don’t know what to say. So you lie and you say yes, and they know you don’t mean it, but they look past it because they can’t do anything. You choose your own separation because the familiar thing that you want is no longer there. Maybe it’s just a momentary thing or maybe it’s forever. But whenever you try to say something or do something, you get knocked down. You get pushed aside and you get so pissed off because you put yourself in that position.

So now you wait. But waiting isn’t the best. Because again, you think. You think back on everything. On every little moment, on every little event, and you smile and you get sad, and you question. You question everything. Life, love, people, friendships, everything. And in your questioning you try to figure out if it has all been genuine, if it has all really happened or you’ve just been in this state of night terror.

You’re waiting, but you don’t want to. You can’t do it any longer, but you hold strong. You keep going. And every second longer you wait, you think more. You reflect more. On everything. On every little event. And you try to speed up the waiting process, you do things that would get an answer or a response faster, and it works a little bit, but it’s two steps forward five steps back. So even when you make progress you’re falling even more behind. Every step you take is taking you farther from the point you want to be. But you can’t stop that. You can’t do anything at all.

You’re stuck in this limbo. You’re stuck in this torture stage where you just wish everything would go back to normal, where you just wish you could turn back time just a little bit so you could change something so everything wouldn’t come toppeling down. But you can’t. And because of that you wait. You don’t know for how long, but you wait.

And the longer you wait, the more you get angry at yourself. The more you realize how stupid you are. But you can’t stop it. You tell yourself to change, to grow, to look past everything to use it as a stepping stone, but you can’t. It’s just physically impossible. So you wait. You wait until the answer you want comes to you. And if it doesn’t, then you give up. On everything. You give up on society, on people, on love, on life, on friendships. You give up until you feel you can once again be the person you were before life decided to bitch slap you. But is that person in you anymore? Is that old person still there, or have you changed now? Have you become someone new?

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Rite of Passage

Doing your own laundry.

It took me 18 years and a some sheets drenched in stomach acid for me to finally do my own laundry.

Feeling like an adult now? Why yes, yes I do!

*added bonus: Cleaning the carpet.

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